What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
