So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Text me some of your sweat
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