I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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