if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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