You're my little dorito
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
