Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
