doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
