As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
