I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
