i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
