If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
