Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i came on her dog
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
