so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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