I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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