Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
