if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
