dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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