My hair reeks of homosexuality.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
