I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
