I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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