he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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