What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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