considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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