You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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