Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
