soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
