$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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