just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
