going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
