my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
