Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
