He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
