He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
