Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
