if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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