Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
