Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
