Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
