Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
as a side note pls kill me
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