He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my poor anus
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
