just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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