ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
