Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
