I'm going to jail i love you
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
