She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
