I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
