I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
