I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
