Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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