Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
